For what people want
It may not be important or just something everyone wants to
prove
For that he was the last
The behind and the slowest
Being the guy to be in the back of the pact
It seemed normal but to him it was whack
Nothing less to expect from tortoise
To have the same aspects as one
Standing out isn’t most likely going to happen
They may not care how there like
Of course we will lose the short run
They only think about having fun
The long run is where it matters
Standing out or proving a point, it doesn’t matter
They underestimate us by how we appear
I didn’t have anything to fear
All I can see that the end was near
In the end I was shocked
To see they didn’t finish what they started
I was mocked
The one who could win got cocky and fell
Asleep on its goal
That’s why we are able to see
it was all me
great start you might want to take out "tortoise" because it gives it away too much. But you could more actual language from story. For example maybe you could include what people might have said to the tortoise during the race because it is similar to what people might have told you. And you might want to add why you are the way you are just like the tortoise, why do you choose to win in the long run etc. MS(3)
ReplyDeleteThis was a very good poem but try to use a quote from the story and include more about what people say to you to bring you down. Explain your emotion and feelings more. But overall it was a good poem. :D
ReplyDelete